A Walk in the Dark

Have you ever had that moment when you realize you have absolutely no clue where you're headed, and your scared shitless? How about in life? I did. But I never realized that I had one of the most important of life's lessons or directions the whole time - I would live in North Carolina. Hey, at least I had a direction. Its not a major life goal. I know this. However, subconsciously, it went hand-in-hand with a major one to overcome fear.

The story goes back to when I was a wee boy. Imagine traveling up to your folks second place in the mountains. I hated sleeping in the pitch black room by myself. I wasn't supposed to sleep in my brother's room because I was scared. I'm a city boy for crying out loud. The city lights of South Florida never allowed the stars to shine too brightly. When the bear came running up the side of the house, grunting and knocking over the trash cans right outside my window I would never be the same again emotionally or spiritually. I would always be reliant on someone else for my emotional security.

This point was cemented in stone later on in life. One early morning while hunting, I walked out to my spot in the dark. I didn't want to go into the hammock alone for fear of an animal attacking. Wouldn't you know it.. a boar hog ran right passed me in the dark. I thought it was the bear. I thought I needed to buy new underwear.

What I didn't realize I was thinking was that I needed to return to North Carolina and stand on my own to face the "bear". Not relying on anyone to give me my own emotional security. I did one foot out in front of the other. But it took a lot of life lessons prior to this to get to that point. The lessons were far from over.