Exposed

A young couple was riding down the road. First road trip together. Happy as could be. Along with them was the husband's trusty dog. Its a package deal of course. She puts up with the dog for her love of him. Windows down. Life couldn't be better except the wind blown hair plastered across her face. The look at him through held back bangs - his guilt for wanting to have a good time. A/C on and the windows go up. The first deal breaker to be exposed comes through the vents. How could he have withheld this vital piece of information?!

An enclosed and extremely small environment emits the first accusation. He had smelly feet! Did her friends know this? How could her parents not say anything? In horror, he deflects the question. No one had told him this either in all of his 27 years. All she could think about was the betrayal, what her friends were thinking of her new beau, the last time he might have washed his feet based on the rating his smell had on the obnoxious scale, and the fortune it would cost at a pediatrist if she did not want to be embarrassed. All he can think about was, "What the hell is she talking about!" Unspoken words - clear emotional discomfort. Until, that is, the dog put his comforting paw on her shoulder.

The smell clearly coming from whatever it was he stepped in prior to hopping into the car. Something dead apparently.

It was the last time an accusation was raised by her in their relationship. A dog paw of a misunderstanding you might say. The lesson for her was to question before accusation. The lesson for him? Wash his dog's goddamn feet.

Make It Right!

Everyday, I come across projects, processes and programs that need help. I am asked to come in and help build or rebuild programs that the firm relies on for millions in  revenue. I bring my arsenal of tools of experience in many sectors to find those solutions. In many cases, I bring sides of the business that are collaborating for the first time - to me, this isn't rocket science.

The next step is to sell it. Imagine marketing on steroids. We don't just use social media, but we also use all other channels.

How and why is a fixer like me necessary in the first place, and what kind of mindset does one need in terms of business? First, it takes a full knowledge of the rules, regulations and the best practices in the industry to bring a company the competitive advantage. Just as this is important, I find that being a customer advocate is just as important - if not more so. Program disconnects come as a result of not putting in the effort in the beginning to build that level of quality.

Make It Right! It takes so little effort to slow the process down just a little bit to build in the quality into every aspect of a product or service. Think of the thousands of dollars wasted by not doing this! Think of the quality of the end result when building/rebuilding the job and leave absolutely no stone unturned. No excuse.

I take that quality to my home life too. No excuse. I don't believe in one sided relationships or out of convenience. It drives me nuts that a DBE can continually torture mentally my adopted daughter. If there is no quality, it is better to shut the door tight and tell them to go take a hike. In business we are responsible. As members of our families, even more so. When we don't, do not expect for it to last.

My Generation

Did you know that 50% of marriages end within 7-8 years? Quickly look around you (and perhaps yourself). What an amazing statistic. What has changed so dramatically over the years? I am a Nirvana listening Gen X-er. Did my generation set in motion this movement of lack of acceptance? Have we simply exposed what has been there the whole time?

I just finished watching an episode of Jerry Springer. Shows like this demonstrate what is in every crevice of our society. I'd like to point the finger at the generation that lived through the 60's - the free spirited movement - for the cause. That generation might have ignited the fire, but we have carried it to an all new level. Gen X-ers live by way of the fist (and perhaps an extension of our middle fingers).

I am a part of the statistic. While I wasn't the one that ended my relationship, I am still part of the situation. I feel freer today because of it. I feel thrilled to have the opportunity to love someone even closer to my heart than the last.

Re-entering the dating scene, I had to make decisions as to what I was willing to accept now in my 30 somethings. A lot of things have changed since I last dated in my early 20s. What baggage can I accept? Many of us have either been married before, have kids, don't have kids, have had tons of sex with many people, thought we had life figured out, haven't decided what we want to be when we grow up, concentrating on our careers... I can add to this list until I'm blue in the face.

The answer to this question is as individual as the person reading this. Welcome to my generation. I often wonder if we as a society have shifted our essence. We have come to the realization that life is too short to accept anything but the most out of life and to make damn sure that we are as happy as we can be.

The Joshua Tree

According to Desert USA, the Joshua Tree thrives in a barren desert environment. Sprung up through the dry hostile environment of the Mojave Desert, where life seems impossible, the Joshua Tree has developed a symbiotic relationship with a single organism - the female Pronuba Moth. Only this moth can spread the pollen from the Joshua Tree to ensure its survival and blossoming. Reciprocated by the moth, the Pronuba can only reproduce in the Joshua Tree and feed off of the Joshua Tree's pollinated seeds. Without the Joshua Tree, there would be no Pronuba and vice versa. 

The Joshua Tree and the Pronuba have the perfect relationship in an extremely imperfect and challenging environment. They are an oasis of life where everything is at odds against them.

I have been through my share of relationships. I think we all seek this symbiotic relationship. Some of us have found it. Some of us are still traveling through the hostile environment seeking that one bright spot in our lives that meets all of our needs. Nature is a great teacher. I stop and look around at my surroundings for these small lessons. 

Our hostile environment includes our jobs, bosses, the world in general, and who can forget traffic. In nature, like the Pronuba and the Joshua Tree, there is drought, excessive heat, and predators. 

Everything happens for a reason. The great hope that nature teaches me is that life is possible, and the person that is perfect for me is out there. The Joshua Tree and the Pronuba know exactly what they are and what they need. Being true to myself, being myself, and knowing exactly what I am looking for in my better half is the lesson learned the Joshua Tree demonstrates. 

In the wasteland of challenges, the Joshua Tree thrives. The Joshua Tree exists without compromise to it's needs. Our challenge is being true to ourselves. Our goal: to navigating through adversity in order to make our lives... remarkable!

Ever Forward - Adelante!

Virtual Meets Actual - Doh!

We have all taken actions that we wish we could have done better in. I call this life experience. Yeah we human's sure can fuck things up some times. I'm a man about town. I'm single at the moment. I come and go as I choose. I have a wonderful dog. I have awesome friends around me. Life is good. But just like in personal relationships, we can mess up with our friends too.

I'm sitting in a well know coffee shop. Everyone who knows me understands I'm high energy and I love to laugh (This is Caffeine Central after all). I'm busily having conversations with my smart phone. Twitter, Facebook, Text message, even on the phone. The look of death from the surrounding people when I answer the phone calls reminds me of sitting in a library. I want to say, "Look we all know you're here not to actually work, but to be seen instead!" I make the comment of feeling like I'm in a depressed library online. All hell breaks loose from two close friends. If I was in a library, I was in the wrong place.

I decided that the best course of action was to leave. I really did need to get things done prior to needing to pick up Josie from Charlotte's own Dogtopia doggy day care. I live at the North end of town. Dogtopia is at the South end.

I prepare to walk out and realize  those two good friend were sitting in the same "library" as me! I simply say, "It's a library in here because I say it is." Wish them a great day and leave. Not the smartest decision.  Text messages and Twitter replies start flying. I honestly didn't want to bother these two awesome people when I know they are truly working. One sided.. I know everyone in there was probably honestly working (and trying to be seen I'm sure) - I don't care and sit all the way in the back.

Needless to say, I turned my pickup truck around and came back. I spent a great hour with two wonderful people to me.

Sometimes in life we make the best decisions we think are right in that very moment.. It is amazing how our friends can quickly correct that thought process. I'm glad I got to spend time with them and share some of my bad influence.

ADELANTE! (Spanish for Ever Forward - to live!)
-Joe

Dating in the Information Age

I'm on Facebook and Twitter. I've met quite a few people this way. I'd even venture to say that some of my closest friends come from one of these two sources. We're doing good so far, right? What about in terms of matters of the heart? There's nothing new about doing personals. We've all giggled at some of the personal ads we've seen in the paper. Wanted: someone passionate about love and not afraid to get rug burns on their knees. Call XXX-XXXX. Gotcha. Or something like this:

I think I might have spoken to her the other day actually!!! Perhaps it was all in her head....

Today, we use formats like Match.com and e-Harmony... In a discussion with one of my closest friends, the current thought is that 1:5 relationships were found online. Is there a real benefit to this? Does it work like my other relationships where we're a bit more comfortable seeing each other because we've already built up a huge relationship virtually before taking the plunge in physically meeting?

We can take the time to get to know each other much better over multiple messages instead of having one shot at getting a news clipping's worth of information out there in order to get that phone call.

In a recent investigation, the online sites still require you to get a news clipping's worth of attraction out there so that people email you or wink at you. Why not just get the information out there? Tell the people exactly what you're looking for in a single blip. I'm sure the person who fits you most will come knocking... And I'm sure a good case of some itchy STD

With that being said... I'll see you online on a popular dating site. My investigation must penetrate deeper into the inner reaching of cyber space.